Could be a lollipop. Could be an insult. Could be what my 3 year old says when she really means “drum”.  Actually, the 3 year old would use all of the words. The first when she screeches out that she’s hungry, starving, going to die quickly if we don’t produce *insert the name of any candy, including lollipops”. The second, well, she’s recently learned to insult people. Idiot and dum-dum along with any potty language are her top favorites. And apparently worth going to time-out repeatedly for.  Fun stage she’s in, wearing princess garb daily, including my SIL’s discarded homecoming queen crown, and talking about poop and shouting for lollipops. Perfection.

Anyway, back to dum-dums, er, drums. My son wants an electronic drum set. Well, he doesn’t really care what kind of drums. I put the electronic there. If you’re a mom, you know right away that I did that because electronic drums are powered by batteries. And batteries can be REMOVED. Right? So anyway, we’ve been researching drums. I’m not yet sold on them but I could be. When I get a sound-proof room for him. Really, though, learning an instrument can be a very valuable tool. Keeps kids focused, outta trouble (you know how teens in a band always walk the straight and narrow and all..), etc. etc.

Hmmm… I think he still has a lot of convincing to do.

  Some people keep a diary or journal of their inner-most thoughts and feelings. I don’t do that. Anymore. I used to when I was like 15. It’s funny and kind of embarrassing to go back and read them. Did I really think that stuff? No wonder I dislike teenagers. I don’t even like my teenager self! (I am going to go ahead and stop you before you remind me that I will one day have 3 teenagers at the same time!) Anyway, I did read this one cool idea that said if you didn’t have time to journal but wanted to, you could keep a one sentence journal where every night before you went to bed, you could just write one sentence about that day. I even bought a cool looking book to do it in. But it only lasted for 3 days. I’m definitely big on follow-through. These days if I did keep such a journal, it would probably say things like: I dreamt of sleep all day. Or, Today I was peed on 3 times, once by the baby. Or, I ate an entire package of oreos all by myself today. Beauties like that.

   One thing I did realize, however, is I do chronicle my life. In my “Favorites” folder on my computer. I actually discovered it because it was so pathetic. I am a Googler to the n’th degree. If I find even the smallest out of place dot on myself or one of my spawns, I’m running to the computer to Google “small red spot above eyebrow, kind of blue”. It’s true. So anyway, I was searching for something in my favorites and realized that I have probably chronicled every medical ailment to ever fall prey upon my family and about 50 that didn’t fall prey on my family but still needed Googling. Also, many of my pipe dreams. In other words, things that I researched the heckoutta and eventually just got bored of, despite a very passionate beginning.

   Here are few goodies:

• Premature Thelarche (which, in case you were wondering, is premature development of a breast bud. Or, a lump under the nipple.)
• Ocean Reef, East set swimming pool
• Top 20 places to take kids in the greater Rochester area
• smaller than usual fontanelle
• Skunk paper craft
• neurological disturbances
• Laryngomalacia in infants
• buy ipod touch

   Also, I have listed about 90 recipies. On the plus side, (especially my waist line’s), I can say that I have made almost every one! Fun times! Especially pumpkin chocolate muffins, cranberry bars, and homemade stuffing!

So life is… scattered.

I watch more television that I ever thought possible with four children. Of course it’s because I have the baby attached to me. Or if he’s not attached that way, he’s attached another way. Because I can’t put him down evereverever. So I sit and watch, watch, watch. Or read. But I’m only half way there because, after all, I’m still policing the rest of the children. Or pretending too and trying to make them think I really can see what is happening in the other room.  It works half way.

I feel proud of myself when I bathe all of the kids on the same day. But I can’t remember what day that was. So I put the 2 of them that have to continue their education in the shower tonight and called it good.

I feel incredibly lucky, lucky lucky ducky, that there was a snow day on Friday and MLK day was today. That is 2 days off work. But in the “I work every other day” world I live in, that is actually SIX days off. In a row. Do you know what happened in those 5 days in the 5 minutes between crying and turning purple happened?  I can see the floors again!  I feel lucky. And I only have 4-5 loads of laundry left to do. When I say “only”, I am not being sarcastic. I promise. I am truly happy!

Speaking of laundry, I did institute a new routine here. I bought 3 cheap, bright green circular baskets and I wrote the kids’ names on them. Well, the walking kids. And I put their laundry in there and I make them put it away before bed. And, it’s working! WOOT WOOT!

I’ve been cooking. Really healthfully and cheap. I have no idea why someone that counts in a bonus to have clean children decided to take on something like cooking and baking on a regular basis but I totally did. And it’s making me super happy. I think that watching all the cooking channel shows did it to me. So really, the nursing did it to me. The baby wants me to eat all this crap I’ve been making. It’s actually not horrible for you food but if you eat as much as I do, then it is. I keep telling myself I will get back on the exercise/Jillian Michaels DVD/running train again but yeah, so far it’s a dream. I think I’d rather look up american eagle outfitters coupons. No, that is not true. I do actually want to do those things but when. It feels stupid to do it 5 minutes at a time. Because that is how long I have before his highness turns his favorite (PURPLE!) color again.

I threw my couch away. For real. Straight to the dump. We had it against a wall and  I pulled it out from the wall and there was mold growing behind it. Tons and tons of really gross BLACK mold. I cried. I don’t cry ever but I cried. It made me sick to think that perhaps that’s why my kids (EVEN THE BABY) are hacking all over the place. My husband ripped the wall out and discovered that some genius previously had a wood stove there and took it out but never covered up the hole the pipe was in — just drywalled over it. So cold air and moisture from the chimney was just blowing right into the wall. When we put the couch in it and there was no airflow — it was the perfect storm. FOR MOLD. There was no obvious mold on the couch but we are still hacking (EVEN THE BABY) so I decided today to throw the couch away. It looks weird right now and I have no money to buy a new one but what the hey. Perhaps we will stop coughing soon. I don’t know.

Really, we’re getting better at doing stuff one armed and whilst jiggling the baby. So life is not bad. It’s just different. It’s just a season. Seasons change quickly. Except when you’re in the midst of them and it’s a humid 98 degrees. That’s how it is here. Except really, it’s 28 degrees out and freezing rain.

    I’ve never been one to celebrate fakey holidays, like Valentines and New Year’s. I don’t really see the point of them because I’m far too practical for such frivolous notions. I think that really translates into: I’m not that fun of a person. But I have a whole other host of endearing qualities, so people love me anyway. Ha

    Even though I’d really put too much stock in a new year’s holiday and don’t celebrate it, it does somehow grab command of your thoughts and cause you to reflect and expect, doesn’t it?

   I buy flowers for myself throughout the year when I feel like they will cheer me up. I don’t believe we should wait on someone else to bring us happiness when we can bring it to ourselves. Flowers make me happy, what can I say?

    2012 was indeed a year of change for our family. Especially myself. My baby, Warrior (who is actually my 2nd child but will always be the baby of my heart. Does that make sense? Do all Mothers feel that one child is more fragile, sensitive, needy than her other children? Do they all feel like that is their baby? Because that is my Warrior to me. He will always be my pink cheeked, smiling baby and he will always give me some sort of anxiety. It’s just the way we work.) went to Kindergarten. That was a big change. He was ready and happy to go. I was happy to send him. I like my kids to be happy. But still, I couldn’t help but feel some nostalgia, so I bought flowers.

    One day I got this crazy notion that it might be interesting to have a fourth child. It lasted like a day. The day we were romantic, apparently. Because the next month I had to pee on a stick and holy crap, there was a second line. So I peed on another and another and another….. I dumped a lot of money in the toilet that week. And I bought flowers.

    The second line brought morning sickness but not as much as I thought I might have. Sweet relief! I could mostly enjoy my life still and only had to visit the toilet less than 3 times per day.  We spent the summer outside mostly. Gardening, being lazy, mowing the lawn in my rain boots, and just basking in the glory of a mostly normal pregnancy. I picked flowers from my garden then.

     I decided last year to quit baby-sitting and enter the work force again. After 9 years. Wow, that makes me feel old. I decided to put my schooling to good use and teach pre-school. Pretty much the door opened up for me so I felt like I had no choice to walk into it. It’s the most ideal place I can imagine myself right now and I have the perfect balance between being with my kids and working. My pregnancy afforded me a lot of energy and I felt like I never even was pregnant. I was so giddy that I bought flowers.

   In November, our lives changed forever when Tiny was born. I admit that I had this crazy fantasy that I was so organized and practiced at parenting that the 4th child would just slip neatly into a little compartment and life would only minorly change. Ha. That little dream went out the window faster than fast on day 1. The OB nurses actually commented that if they did not know me, they would think that my Tiny prince was a withdrawal baby. He cried that much. I mean, have you ever heard a newborn cry and cry and cry? Because it was awful. Fancy told me that she thought he wanted to GO BACK IN. I agreed with her and kind of wished that he could. Being pregnant was a heck of a lot easier. He still cries a lot. We have coined the phrase “0 to purple in 5 seconds flat” for him because he has an uncanny way to do just that — you can sit him in his swing and 5 seconds later, literally, he is so angry he is holding his breath and purple as they come. Eggplant is what I should nickname him because he turns that color quite quickly. However if you hold him upright, he is a dream of a baby who coos and smiles and melts your dog gone heart quicker than ice melts on my heater (not that I have any experience with kids dumping ice down my heater). If only I had nothing to do but sit around and romance with him all day — our lives would be dreamy. But I don’t. So we make do with what we can. And we’re not breaking apart at the seams yet, but I think that’s only because we’re sewn together with some pretty heavy duty thread over here. But I will say that I bought myself a LOT of flowers recently.

    In December, my mother got very ill and ended up in the hospital. It was sad because we missed seeing her over Christmas. My heart wasn’t in it. I don’t like that feeling. So I bought some gorgeous Christmas flowers.

    My Forest has matured and is quite the companion. I love to watch him and can see glimpses of the young man he will one day be. My Fancy Cheeks is gorgeous and princessy and oh, so mean to her brothers. The bossiness abounds in her! My Warrior is sweet and sensitive and feels sorry for himself a lot. Brilliant, too! He knows all his Dolche words up to 3rd grade!

   Really, I can match most of the happy and sad times of my year with my receipts from the florist. That’s life… like the title of my blog reads; “Life is Like a Mountain Railway”. And really, would we have it any other way?

P.S. Send Flowers to someone you love today.

  I can finally breathe again. Or, sort of. I guess I had grand illusions of how the fourth child would just kind of slip into our lives and we would carry on our merry old way. It didn’t exactly happen that way. In any way, shape or form, actually. We were in such a good routine before Timbitarrived. We got out the door with smiles on our faces, homework safely in the folder in which it belonged, and early, even! Sure, nothingwas perfect and there weren’t fancy chocolates on the pillows, but the toilet was clean and if you wanted to shower, a bath towel was stacked neatly in the closet and the kids sure as heck weren’t drinking their milk out of shot glasses or walking across spilled Orbeez Refill for days with them sticking to the bottoms of their feet.

   No one expected the 4thchild to have reflux. Or to be the angel that brought with him a plethora of germs. No really, I guess he didn’t bringthe germs. He just came announcing the grand entrance of The Month of Germs. Since he came into the world 6 weeks ago, we have not had 1 day that someone was not ill. We’ve had vomiting (or barce-ing as Fancy Cheeks calls it), colds, double ear infections (Timbit!), Strep Throat, and 2 rounds of awful head colds. Poor baby had 2 colds before he was 2 weeks old! And the reflux, oh! Did I mention the reflux? I forgot what it was like to have a baby that never, ever, ever lets you put him down. Upright! All The Time! And nursing! How could I forget to mention that?! I spend exactly 42.6% of my waking(and asleep!) hours letting my child have a buffet in order to promote large cheek growth. The good news it that I am once again versed in what is happeningin the entertainment world, am rekindlingmy relationship with Kelly (minus Registhis time), and have won no less than 50,000 nursing dollars on Family Fued and Chain Reaction. Also, I know what to look for if I ever happen to need to purchase a home in the Netherlands, Chicago or Guatemala! Thanks to the Food Network’s Chopped, I also knew the other day that I should not throw my Sweet Tarts candy away (I am slowly and methodically makingthe Christmas candy leave the house) because there has to be somethingthat I could create withit. Like a gorgeous sorbet  or something.

  It’s amazinghow your strengthgrows withyou! Or you grow into it. Or something like that. But do you remember back before you children? You thought you were busy and stressed. And now you can look back and think “What the heck was I thinking?! I had SOOOOO much free time!”. And then you have child number one and again, you are busy. Crazy busy for real! And then you have child number 2? Well, I think mayhaps child number 4 actually does make you that busy. Or it feels like it. But we are growing into it.

   After 6 weeks, I feel like I’m gaining on it. Oh, I am no where near being able to say I mastered it! I think that takes at least a year. But I am probably only 4 loads of laundry away from being caught up. But then again, Fancy peed the bed last night, so make that 5. And I’ve made dinner 3 out of the last 7 days. Real dinner. Not frozen pizza dinner. For crying out loud, yesterday I made a pasta salad! It was good too. We won’t talk about how I had to forfeit getting dressed to make it. Let’s just focus on the fact that I created something pretty and yummy.

   Monday real life starts again. Christmas vacation from school ends. I’ll need to face the music and send my husband back to work ON TIME in the mornings. A week from Monday I go back to work. The baby sitter comes here. That means I need to get us all out the door in the morning, lunches packed, spelling words memorized, baby fed, ready to be cheerful for my students, Fancy Cheeks in matching shoes (can’t promise they won’t be dress up shoes, though!), and then come back home to face the music here. It feels impossible right now, but we’ve grown into being able to get a lot of it done with being home all day. I know we will grow into this as well. But the growing process often hurts and it is almost never fun. So, remind me that for the next 6 months, will you?